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Wednesday 3/24/2010 - Errands Galore



I had a recent discussion about check boxes on a form.
The discussion made me think about simple words and how they make people feel...
Adoptive Parent, Adoptive Child, Birth Parent, Biological Parent, "Real" Parent...
The word "Adoption" seems to be a very legal term, used to classify and categorize people. Birth, Biological, "Natural" all have an inherent bonding/endearment, "natural way of life factor".
These terms could leave the "Adoptive" Child/Parent feeling "unnatural".
Maybe the social terminology associated with Legal Adoption ought to be re-evaluated to foster positive feelings...
My thoughts regarding "Adoptive" families:
All Parents are... "God Appointed Parents"
There can be two subdivisions... "Pre-Birth Parents" and "Post-Birth Parents"
Some Parents may be both, some may be one or the other, still others may be a mixture with different children falling into different categories. The nice thing about these terms is that everyone is part of the same basic grouping "God-Appointed Pre & Post Birth Parents, everyone is normalized.
Children of a Post-Birth Parent may not have been born of their body, but...they are born of choice... they are "chosen children" (in lieu of being labeled adoptive children).
A parent might be asked to categorize their family....
One might say:
I am a God Appointed Pre/Post-Birth Parent of 4 Children.
or...
We have 2 Pre-Birth Children and 2 Post-Birth Children in our Forever Family.

Being sensitive to terminology can make a big difference in how it makes people feel about the speaker and about themselves.
It is also important that individuals in these types of family groups educate the general population about acceptable terminology.
Many people are unaware that common societal words can come across as unthoughtful. Especially with limited exposure to alternate family dynamics.

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